58 FY | 3943 BC

We open on Gerbo, the goblin living along the Orkon river banks in Astar, the Fabellan equivalent to Africa. Gerbo is a hunter; he’s not very good at it; this leaves him a skinny weakling who gets bullied a lot by all the bigger, stronger hunters of the tribe. I know how that feels.

Gerbo desperately desires to mate with the beautiful gatherer Serma. But there’s a problem. Gerbo’s tribe rules that a hunter can only mate with a gatherer if they kill an enormous fierce beast. I’ll tell you one thing, if American society had this rule, there would be a lot more virgins in the world. Tergo, the biggest, strongest goblin, has already voiced his intention to claim Serma for his own. Gerbo is in a race against time. He has to kill a monster before Tergo to win the heart of Serma.

Gerbo tries, but he can’t find a monster fierce enough to kill for Serma. On his trek through the wilderness, Gerbo comes across a magical spring hidden amongst tall grasses, giant mushrooms with thick stalks, and the grandest trees he’s ever seen. All the wildlife in the area is much stronger and more significant than average. With his throat dry from travel, he drinks from the spring.

As you can probably guess, my guy wakes up the next morning with the muscles of Thor. Thanks to the magic of the spring Gerbo catches everyone’s eye, even the beautiful and bodacious Serma. Gerbo makes repeated returns to the spring, growing bigger and stronger with each drink. He’s a regular Mr. Universe by this point.

There’s only one problem. Gerbo starts to realize that the spring water is affecting his mind. His long term memory suffers, vocabulary gets simpler, and he becomes more aggressive. Gerbo finally ascends to the top spot as the biggest goblin in the tribe, much to former alpha Tergo’s chagrin.

Unfortunately, my dude’s mental state has also greatly diminished.

 When he finally finds a fierce monster to present to Serma, he fails to kill the animal and almost dies in the process because of his poor mental state. Serma, having seen his awkward attempt, laughs at him. A humiliated Gerbo winds up and hits Serma.

The incident is enough to snap Gerbo out of the mental side effects of the spring. He retreats to the water but is followed by Tergo. Gerbo sees Tergo, and they get in a fight. Tergo gains the upper hand and kills Gerbo.

Gerbo uses his last breath to warn Tergo about the danger of the spring. Tergo ignores him and drinks from the spring. With the secret now out, more hunters drink from the spring, growing bigger and stronger as a result. The name of these dim-witted brutes becomes synonymous with the Orkon River, where the tribe made their camp. They become known to all in Fabella as “orcs.”